Same sex marriage is finally legal in Oregon! If you’re one of the thousands of happy couples all over the state have recently gotten engaged, you probably have a few questions. Although planning a same sex wedding is just the same as planning a traditional one- there are a few traditions that might seem outdated or not suitable for your union. Naturally, the decisions you make depend entirely on what you as a couple decide for your wedding, but here are a few answers to common questions you may have when planning your nuptials.
Who Should Marry Us?
There are tons of options available to you here, it really depends on the kind of ceremony you’re choosing to have. You could have a judge or justice of the peace sanction your union, or choose a secular officiant. A very popular choice among LGBT couples is to have a close friend or family member officiate since it is fairly easy and inexpensive to get ordained these days. It adds a personal touch to your ceremony that will make your day that much more special. If you and your partner would prefer a more religious ceremony, speak with a minister or rabbi from the congregation to which you or your partner belong. If noone comes to mind, contact a Unitarian Universalist, Universal Life, or Metropolitan Community church, all of which support same-sex unions. You can also look for an officiant from a religion that leaves the decision to individual clergy.
This might seem like a silly question, but the answer is simple. Wear whatever you want. For a few couples, it’s easy to feel a little stifled by the ‘bride/bride or groom groom/groom aesthetic.Gender roles are a thing of the past, and there are so many exciting wardrobe options available because more and more couples across the board are choosing unconventional wedding attire. It’s your wedding, wear something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Everyone loves and deserves gifts on their wedding day, but the process of creating a registry might be a tricky one. Not all stores/ companies are flexible with things like bride’s name and groom’s name and it can get a little confusing. Until the situation changes, you might have to clearly state that your wedding guests will have to check under both your names for the registry. Thankfully, stores like Macy’s, Nordstrom and Target have LGBT inclusive registries. Online registries are also growing in popularity, so do your research and find a solution that suits you and your partner.
Should We Invite Our Less Than Supportive Family Members?
This a tough situation that you may encounter as a newly engaged same sex couple. First of all, don’t assume anything. That is to say, base their invitation on whether or not YOU are comfortable with them attending, and not the other way around. If you would like them to be there, regardless of their personal views, invite them anyway. Whether or not they choose to come is entirely their decision. If you’re worried that their attitude might put a damper on the event, be sure to set up clear boundaries beforehand. Clear communication in this situation is key.
How Do We Find LGBT Friendly Wedding Vendors?
Luckily, living in the wonderfully accepting and inclusive city of Portland makes finding LGBT friendly vendors fairly easy. However, it can be pretty time consuming finding a vendor that shares your views, style and budget requirements. Planning a wedding is already pretty stressful in itself, which is why we recommend hiring a planner. It takes all the guesswork out of co-ordination and helps you focus on what matters most- planning your new life together as a newly wedded couple. Let us help you plan the wedding of your dreams!